Well im a 17 year old boy who lives in London. I guess i shouldn't complain about my life - im not poor, i go to a decent enough school etc. See the problem is that for some reason I dont really fit in. Now, i'm not saying that im a weirdo or a neek. In fact if you saw me in school or on a street
you wouldn't have noticed anything weird about me. Thats because its inside me.
Trouble is, I dont know what IT is exactly. Its a bit of being bi i guess, but i cant even be sure about that. Its a bit of inner lonelyness, a bit of sadness/frustration and a bit of confusion. All i know is that not knowing exactly who you are or what youre capable of is a bit scary =/ Even more scary/weird is the fact that i cant share any of this with anyone i know in person - they'd either laugh nervously and say 'seek help' or made fun of me. Which is why I decided to start blogging here. This will be my little fortress that no one can penetrate, and yet it will allow me to come to terms with who i am, and hopefully get some advice about wht i should do.
Not being able to figure myself out is the most frustrating thing i've ever encountered. The fact that I can't for quite obvious reasons share my concerns with anyone makes it even worse. Its made my life unbereable at times - and, surpirse, surprise that was blamed on me growing up and being a teenager. Only i know thats not what it is. I guess its me sseeking the truth about myself, and what i want to belive in.
3 comments:
hi winglessangel :-)
here i am and happy to be there because im feeling close to what you feel i guess. so i hope we could comfort each other in a certain way.
btw, its really nice to read your blog and useful for me in order to improve my english :-). you naturally write with a perfect english so its good for me (then i'll try making a special effort when i'll post a comment, not using plenty of short terms nd sms stuff nd so on - just a little :-).
well, dont think im just a foolish nd immature boy. actually, im not. bt when im writing or talking, it usually takes a slightly funny way. maybe its just a sort of protection, you know.
see ya winglessangel (what means your nickname, btw ?)
lolz dw i dnt mind using short english myself its just tht when im writing on my main blog some things shudnt be shortened.. Lol i dnt think that ure foolish or immature... I quite admire the fact that u can sticky by ur beliefs at ur age. Umm as for my nickname, , its partly cos im like a doomed angel - my problems being like the lack of wings, and partly cos im thinking of getting a tatoo on my back of angel wings - so until i get it im wingless.
Your first post is almost a reflection of how I feel inside, even now sometimes. It's hard, and frustrating, and maddening, but I think we'll both figure ourselves out in the end.
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